Help!!! Guide with problems??

[Kateniz]

Help!!!
I have a situation with one of my guides and i really dont know what to do. She is one of the young ones, that came up this year. As a brownie she was really quiet and i expected that once she came up to guides that would all change. With most of the quiet ones that come up, within a year of being in Guides they are completely different but this hasn't happened with her. She never really participates in anything, she will seem to be joining in but she never makes any effort at all in anything we do and when i ask her anything she either nods or shakes her head but doesn't ever say anything. For example at the moment we have been learning a pop song in sign language for a coffee evening we are putting on and she doesnt seem to be getting it. I started by dealing with the group as a whole to see if they didnt get any parts and a lot of them said different sections so we re covered those and she stayed silent and she still didnt get it so i seperated them into groups of 3 so that it would be easier still to do it and she still didnt say anything so i went through it all 1 on 1 with each of them so she didnt feel i was meaning her directly and still she didnt say anything but just doesn't do it, or understnd it. im not sure!
We recently went away on camp and she was the same there with the other guiders. They would ask her a question about something and she just looks straight at you and dosn't answer. She was in her camp patrol and they were putting up their tent, they were shown how to do it and then told to do it themselves then she took one corner of the tent and stood with one hand in her pocket the whole time so her guider kept telling her what to do but she didnt respond at all. In the end the guider did it. One of the other guiders on camp asked me if she was deaf or had any problems so once back from camp i went to talk to her mother but she said she's just like that. It's clearly not a malicious thing she doesn't have that kind of nature at all but it is starting to affect the running of the group as other girls have come to me not knowing what to do with her or requesting to not have to work with her. I am completely lost as to what to do seen as her mother doesn't seem to see anything wrong. If this helps also when we do any crafts or writing she is clearly a long way behind the rest of those in her class in school in hand writing and spelling and just following basic directions. You can show her how to do something 3+ times and she will still do it differently. Even if you go through it step by step she will still do it differently.
Can anyone help me! i know this is a HUGE rant but i dont have a clue what to do or what is wrong with her, her brownie leader just thinks she was lazy but im sure its something else! I would love to know if anyone has ever had a similar problem and how you dealt with it, i really want for her to get as much out of guides as the rest of her friends and i just dont feel she is at the moment and i just want to know how to make it better for her. HELP!!!

Kate
x

[sliceofrice]

We don't really have anywhere to stand on this in the medical sense.
However maybe seeing if you can find a young leader or another leader who, without making it obvious will be able to spend more time with her helping her.
Some girls just need that extra bit of help and maybe she will start to open up a bit.
We all have that girl that is shyer than others... and I think sometimes we forget that it's ok to be shy. We all want our girls to talk... but sometimes it's just not them.

[nikifm]

We don't really have anywhere to stand on this in the medical sense.
However maybe seeing if you can find a young leader or another leader who, without making it obvious will be able to spend more time with her helping her.
Some girls just need that extra bit of help and maybe she will start to open up a bit.
We all have that girl that is shyer than others... and I think sometimes we forget that it's ok to be shy. We all want our girls to talk... but sometimes it's just not them.

I was going to suggest that. Do you have another leader who could perhaps, not necessarily spend one to one time with her, but when you're doing a craft or something, sit sort of next to her and the other girls and keep an eye and sort of be like "Are you alright there?" and helping her along.
Maybe she just needs a bit of help but doesn't want to ask or something cos she feels embarrased perhaps. Maybe also after a while, she'll start to talk to a leader if they help her a bit more one to one and then you can see if there is something underlying it all.
Keep us posted.
x

[popcorn]

we have one that has a similar problem with the not being able to follow simple instructions, unfortunately she's one of our loudest guides. Her parents say there is nothing wrong with her but we have found out from other sources that she has some major probs. THANKS FOR TELLING US PARENTS! We have one leader that works with the group but is always next to her and really only helps her.

[Anonymous]

(anon 2)
I have a brownie exactly as your explaining, she finds joining in difficult but can follow instructions well. Get a young leader to help her or help yourself yourself-she may prepare feeling that she has slightly more attention possibly;
Other than that all i can say is good luck with getting it sorted.

[Elzie]

I would also go back to the mother and talk it through. You say that the mother says she's like that all the time - that's different from the mother being fine with it. She's probably worried sick too... and maybe worried you'll kick her out for behaving like. Make it clear to your mum that you're not trying to push her daughter out it's just that you need guidance in how best to help her get the best out of guides.

Good ideas above about using a YL or extra adult with her. It might also be worth talking the behaviour over with your county special needs adviser.

[Quack]

I had a Guide who showed similar traits, she'd wouldn't take instruction from her PL just me, all sorts of behaviour problems, not joining in and appeared to have difficultly understanding etc. Her brother has autism and whilst I wouldn't profess any knowledge, we suspected she had similar issues.

Time went by and mother got the Guides eyes tested (she need glasses ) which helped but also it turned out she was also on the autistic scale.

I don't know how you suggest it, but maybe have a word along the lines of 'have you ever? '. Talking to your special needs advisor is a good start.

[Anonymous]

Anon 2
I have a girl very similar
she constantly looks on the verge of tears and is excruciatingly quiet. She always looks exhausted to the point of tears. She will never do anything that involves doing things in front of people eg singing or reading
She always needs help with very simple spelling. she does speak fluent welsh so I feel that she may be ok in school as she is taught in welsh, she also is constantly has something wrong first aid wize!

I have just come to accept that we dont push her to do things. She comes to every canp and every event and we simply place her with her friends who are as shy as her really and they seem to have a quiet laugh

[Elzie]

She comes to every camp and every event and we simply place her with her friends who are as shy as her really and they seem to have a quiet laugh

What a fantastic example of "caring for the individual". Great work Anon 2!

[sari]

As an experienced TA, I could imagine that there many things that could be going on here, perhaps a recptive language disorder, or informay=tion processing problem. Have you tried being very direct, and giving her instructions one at a time-it's hard nad you feel stupid doing it, but one of my Rainbows ahs a Statement of SEN, and tis is the advice um gave me, and it works, espesh if you sya her name first. Sorry can't b any more helpful...does she have any frineds i the unit?

She could also be having an issue with speaking because she's worried what she says is wrong, the girl in my class who is an elective mute needs an excruciating amount of time to formulate an answer.....I have to hold my tongue to keep from rabbiting on//////