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Thread: Mothers day - girl has no mum

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    Default Mothers day - girl has no mum

    The ex GiC (now AL) always does mothers day but this year we have one girl with no mum (died) and I dont know how to word the mothers day evening, I'm thinking of including stickers for Aunty, Grandma, etc so that girls can "choose" who to make their card for, anyone have any other ideas???

    Bit stuck now and I'm sure there was another thread about this, in the interest of balance we do Fathers day too, so conversely suggestions for girls with no dad too would be good....
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    It's always a hard one. But we do it as a "card" or whatever to a significant female in the girl's life. So, Auntie, Granny or cousin etc. Same as we do for "Bring a Mum" night - one girl brought her adult step-sister, another her nanny.

    For Father's Day - Uncle, Grandad etc

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    we are doing "for someone special" day cards as in the same situation. thou we dont do fathers day.
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    I've had this in the past and we turned it round to a "card to someone special, can be mum but can be anyone..."

    and if doing anything pre-printed just ensure you have a few that say "love" or "I love you" rather than just "mum" or "mother's day"

    the little girl we had whilst in rainbows used to give her mother's day special stuff to her dad, but in brownies changed it to her gran/nanna
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    as the others have said we do it for someone special, have a quiet word with the girl the week before so she knows you'll be making something with mothers day in mind. our girls who mum had died made something for their grandma as grandma wouldnt be getting anything from her daughter.
    Last edited by shackademus; 20th January 2012 at 08:09 PM.
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    We tend to do the 'someone special' so we would give them all the chance to do it for mum or granny etc. This year we have been given loads of free samples (oxford st is great for this) so i am making little bags out of net about A5 size and guides are going to sew on sequenes to decorate (might try this with rainbows too) and then fill with samples so other than they will be female samples they could give them to anyone.

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    In my Rainbows and Brownies I've had a pair of sisters who's mum died before I knew both of the girls. They do on the other hand have two Grandmothers who are very hands on with them. I've had quite a few single mums AND single Dad's who's daughter(s) have come through the unit. I do both Mother's day and Father's day to reflect that not all girls that go through the units have either a mother or father in their daily life. For girls who are lacking a parent (died or just not in their life) they get to choose who they want to do it for, also had girls do stuff for their biological parents and step-parents. I don't judge the girls and always ask who they want to do the card and craft for. Where appropriate they do it for a 'significant other female/male role figure' in their life, e.g grandparent, aunt, uncle, step parent etc. Also if the other girls who live with both 'biological' parents want to do something extra as well the are allowed to as well. All the girls know that I won't judge who they're making the stuff for.

    Should add that I'm a single parent with three daughters and they don't have anything to do with their Dad (long story) and also have a cousin and he's a single Dad to his two boys. Another cousin was a single Dad for years to his sons after his wife died.

    I have noticed that the local primary schools will do mother's day, but rarely (if ever) do father's day. That's even though there are quite a few single Dads in the school where Mum may have died or not have any real interaction with the children.

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    Family life can be complicated these days, and it's not always easy to do the right thing.

    I had one Brownie whose mum died suddenly, and another who lived with Grandma and Grandad, one who lived with Dad and not Mum, so I got into the habit of saying 'grown up' instead of Mum and/or Dad. (As the Brownie's mum died quite close to Mothers Day, we didn't make anything that year as it was too raw for her, bless.)

    But we once did a sleepover that finished on Fathers Day, so all the Dad's were invited to breakfast for bacon butties!

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    mother's day or mothering sunday to give its correct title is part of the easter calendar and part of christian heritage (always falls half way between shrove tuesday and easter sunday)... and because date of easter changes with the moon cycles falling after christmas, this is why date of mothering sunday changes year to year - father's day has been a bit of an add on and doesn't have the same historical or christian claims as mothering sunday

    so perhaps this is why many do "mothering sunday" but not "grandma's day" "father's day" "grandad's day" and so forth
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    The main reason I acknowledge both Mothering Sunday and Father's Day is because I've got/had girls who are raised by one or other of the parents. I think it's something that each unit has to make a decision on what to do depending on who's in the unit and also an awareness of each of the girls' individual home lives. Thankfully most of my parents are usually quite good with letting me know something about the family set up so that I can adapt the activities as required. After the parent(s) fill in the form, I try to always ask if there is anything else that I need to be aware of, e.g. family set up, religious practises, so that I can adjust/adapt activites as needed.

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